My best friend Jenny and I both got our hearts broken by guys we loved within one month of each other. I can’t even begin to tell you how many conversations we’ve had that start off with, “how are you doing?” and end an hour later in wiping the tears from our eyes and promising each other that, “someday we’ll look back and laugh.” Because, lezbehonest, that promise (and our friendship) is all that’s getting us through this shitty time in our lives. I’ve even joked with Jenny that I can’t wait to be at her wedding someday and give a speech that includes something along the lines of, “ok, it’s safe to say we can finally take a minute, look back and laugh our asses off.” And then we’ll all laugh and cheers each other and people will say it was the best wedding speech they’ve ever heard.
But here’s where the real problem lies – I have no idea what “someday” looks like. And even scarier, when the hell is “someday” gonna show up?!
I have sworn up and down that I’m not at a place that I want to (or even could) be married right now – and that’s definitely still true – but this heartbreak business isn’t a good time either. I know there’s the hope and expectation that someday (there’s that word again), some crazy fool will get tricked into giving me a (giant) diamond and his heart and we’ll live happily ever after. But I just can’t actually picture that happening to me. And that absolutely scares me to death. I hope, please dear Lord, I hope… that it ultimately happens… but it just seems so surreal, so distant and so impossible to me right now. After all of the heartbreak, I just can’t picture a scenario where it actually ends in bling and bliss.
So, of course, this hopeless romantic in search of her own happy ending at the end of the heartbreak tunnel is going to leave you with a cheesy movie quote. Enjoy!
“Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts, through all the blunders and misread signals, through all of the pain & embarrassment… you never, ever gave up hope.”