I’m an all or nothing kind of girl woman. When I commit to something I don’t half-ass it and I don’t give up when things get hard. I like to find solutions to problems and work my way through things. To me, giving up is failing. I act more on feelings than thoughts and it frustrates me when other people don’t value or trust my feelings or their own enough to act on them as well. I’m hard headed, independent and tough. I’m confident if you asked any of my best friends to describe me in three words “tough” would be one of the first two. Tough is who I am.
And on Saturday, I was broken. The relationship I spent one measly month shy of a year pouring all of myself into came to a screeching, unexpected halt right before flying over the edge of a cliff to a 10,000-foot fall to death in a pit of fire. I spent just shy of a year falling in love and yet still feeling constantly like I was scrambling to pick up the pieces of something I knew in my heart wasn’t right all while wearing 100-pound shoes on egg shells. I am embarrassed, sad and angry. I am frustrated, lonely and wounded. But more than all of that I am tough.
And even more than all of that I have friends who love me and who would never let me fall after receiving the giant punch to the stomach that Saturday brought. Friends who kept their mouths shut for the last 11 months because I was busy convincing them (and myself) that everything was fine, that I was happy and that the situation I chose to continue to place myself in was going to work out. I have these amazing friends who didn’t say, “I told you so” when they came from all corners of the city to be with me on Saturday night. Friends who keep reminding me that I am tough and that I’m going to be okay. Friends who made me laugh and forget how sad I was all day Sunday. Friends who (easily) talked me into buying a plane ticket toTexasfor the weekend that would have been one year since I met him.
So yea, I’m tough. But on those rare occasions when I’ve found myself completely broken… I am so eternally grateful for my amazing friends who have rescued me from the 10,000-foot fall to a pit of fire.